How to Start Conversations at Networking Events (Without Feeling Awkward)

Do you find you have to force yourself to approach people at networking events?

Somehow, it feels more like a test than an opportunity. You’ve got to do something that feels completely unnatural, whilst making it seem like the most natural thing in the world.

But once you know the techniques that start conversations and keep them flowing, that unnatural feeling starts to fade.

At Body Talk, we’ve spent two decades helping businesses like yours to overcome their communication challenges – and we’ve written this guide to help you to recognise what’s holding you back and move past it with confidence.

We’ll go through how to start conversations at networking events – taking you all the way through from preparing, to approaching both groups and people on their own, and following up.

Preparing for your networking event

The first step is to overcome the doubts that are stopping you from starting conversations at networking events.

Do you relate to any of these challenges?

• Feeling like you’re speaking to someone unsolicited, or that they don’t really want you to approach them
• Worrying about what you’ll say once you introduce yourself
• Feeling intimidated by the other person and struggling with imposter syndrome
• Simply not knowing what to say, or how to approach without forcing yourself in

These worries usually stem from our need for networking to go perfectly. We put a lot of pressure on it because we want to come across as the confident, successful people we are. But in doing so, we tend to think of every reason why we shouldn’t be confident.

Setting yourself up for success

Instead of thinking about what could go wrong, visualise success. Imagine walking up to someone, making eye contact, smiling, and saying something simple like “what did you think of the presentation?” or “have you been to this event before?” Take slow, regular breaths in and out as you do this and focus on feeling calm.

When you do this enough, you start to convince your brain that this successful version of the event has already happened – so when it comes to approaching someone, your brain is set up to expect a good outcome instead of a bad one.

And remember that everyone at the event is there to meet new people. Even if they’ve come with a group, they will be expecting you to approach them.

What else can you do to prepare for your event?

A few other things you can do to prepare before you go are:

• Plan to arrive early. This can make it easier to approach people, as groups usually haven’t formed yet.
• If there are speakers, do a little research and think of some relevant questions you can ask them about their work.
• Print some business cards – not with the plan of giving them all out, but to make it easier and to give you more confidence in your professionalism when it comes to giving people your contact details.

How to start a conversation at a networking event

The best way to start a conversation at a networking event is to be warm and show interest in the other person instead of focussing on giving a sales pitch.

Don’t underestimate basic conversation starters or icebreakers because you’re worried about being boring – people know how to respond to these and they pave the way for more open-ended questions later on.

Networking conversation starters

Approach with a smile, and keep it simple with questions like:

• Hi I’m (name), what brought you to this event?
• What do you do?
• It’s my first time at this event, have you been here before?

This naturally leads you to asking questions like:

• How did you start working as a (job role)?
• I came to meet other people in the industry too. What drew you to working in this industry?
• What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received in your career?

These questions put the focus on the other person, and give you an opportunity to really listen and learn about them. People notice the difference in their first impression of you when you show genuine curiosity, especially when they’re expecting for people to try and sell to them.

Finding someone to approach

Look for someone standing by themselves – you can usually find people around the edge of the room. This is a less intimidating way to start a conversation, and the other person will usually be grateful that you’ve approached them and they don’t have to take the initiative themselves. You can also look for ‘third-places’ like the refreshments table, which give you a low-pressure way of striking up a conversation with someone.

How to approach a group at a networking event

Look for smaller groups to join, with two to three people. These are less intimidating to join – and the less people there is, the more easily you can contribute to the conversation and share your thoughts. Remember that it’s not necessarily about speaking to as many people as possible, it’s about genuinely connecting with the people you talk to.

Once you approach the group, smile, make eye contact, and ask to join the conversation. It’s natural to want to hover and wait for someone to invite you in, but this can lead to awkward lingering, and make you seem less confident.

Instead of doing this, show them that you want to talk to them by taking the initiative and asking questions like “I heard you mention (topic), do you mind if I join you? I’d love to hear some new perspectives on it.”

If you don’t have an opportunity to mention the topic, you can keep it even simpler with a “do you mind if I join you?”. Remember, they’ll be expecting people to do this, and you don’t need to overcomplicate it.

Don’t be afraid to be honest, either, and tell them that you’re looking for people to talk to. You can use:

• I don’t know anyone here, do you mind if I join you?
• I don’t think I’ve met any of you yet, is it alright if I join you?

Following-up after a networking event

Once you’ve had your conversation, remember to ask for their contact details so that you can keep in touch.

Of course, you should only ask for their contact details if it makes sense to both of you, and you feel there’s relevance. But keep in mind that even ‘weak ties’ – connections with people you don’t know well – are very powerful when it comes to finding new opportunities.

In a study of around 20 million LinkedIn users, it was found that weak ties are better than strong ties for job mobility. This is thought to be because weak ties have social circles that overlap less with your own, therefore providing you with more opportunities.

So, how can you confidently and respectfully ask for contact details? Some examples are:

• It’s been great talking to you. Are you going to any other networking events soon? Would you like to connect on LinkedIn and keep in touch on events we’re both planning on going to?
• I’ve got to go and speak to a few more people here, but I’ve really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on (topic). Would you be open to swapping email addresses or connecting on LinkedIn?
• Thank you so much for your advice. I’d love to stay in touch on LinkedIn if you’d be open to that?

LinkedIn is a great way to keep in touch because it’s designed for networking, and if the other person posts regularly, you can engage with them by liking or commenting on their posts. But of course, you can feel free to use any platform that you have a professional profile on.

Now that you’ve got their contact details, make sure to send a follow-up after your event. Thank them for the conversation, and mention something that they told you about.

Networking follow-up examples

What does a follow-up message or email look like?

An example of providing value:

Hi Kathryn,

Thanks for taking the time to share your insights on leadership with me yesterday. I enjoyed hearing about your journey to becoming an MD, and I appreciate your advice for my team.

You mentioned that you’re having some trouble with your IT systems. We’ve worked with this IT company for a year now, and they really helped us with the issues we were having. (Link to the IT company’s website).

I hope this helps, and I’d be happy to introduce you if you’d like. Thanks again, Kathryn – it was great to meet you.

An example of asking to meet again:

Hi Harry,

Thanks for the chat at Body Talk’s event yesterday. It was amazing to hear about your experience working on international projects.

I’d love to hear more about how you collaborate across time zones, and lend you the book you said you were interested in reading. Would you be free for a meeting over coffee any day this week?

Thanks Harry.

Learn how to make an impact without relying on a sales pitch

If you’re stuck on what to do after you’ve introduced yourself, head to our guide on business networking. You’ll learn what builds rapport and connection, and how to get the most out of your experience without that fake, inauthentic feeling.

Business networking training, personalised to your challenges

Do you struggle to find the right connections when networking, or find yourself thrown off by feeling awkward?

With a Body Talk training session, you’ll gain tools you can use immediately to go into your next networking event with a focussed, confident mindset. We’ll teach you how to connect on a human-level and transform the way you come across, from hesitant and reserved to warm and memorable.

Learn from world-class communication coaches, and benefit from a framework based on scientific research and 20 years of development.

Explore business networking training

Frequently asked questions

We’ve answered your networking questions below.

How do I introduce myself at a networking event?

To introduce yourself at a networking event, focus on positive body language and tone of voice. Make eye contact as you approach, and speak with a warm tone to put them at ease. Then, take the initiative by speaking first and asking them a question, like “are you enjoying the event?”

Show genuine interest in what they say – for example, if they told you they just spoke to someone who interested them, ask them more about it. They’ll tell you why they were interested in it, and this gives you the opportunity to find common ground.

If they answer something simpler, like a simple “yes,” don’t panic. Just ask them another, more open-ended question, like “what’s your favourite part of your job?”

How can I start networking as an introvert?

To start networking as an introvert, shift your focus from selling yourself to connecting with the other person and learning about them. This helps to avoid you feeling as much social fatigue, as the other person tends to be talking more – but it also helps you to make more authentic conversation.

Remember that you don’t have to limit your networking to big conferences, either. There are a lot of ways to network, and if you’re more comfortable speaking one-on-one, you can invite people to meet up with you as a form of networking. This can be as simple as a 20-minute discussion over coffee, but it can provide both of you with a lot of value, and be less intimidating than a longer event with more people involved.

If you’re an introvert looking for tips on how to network without feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, head to our guide on networking as an introvert.

How can I stop feeling awkward and start feeling confident when networking?

Remind yourself that the most important thing about networking is making connections. People start to trust and open up to you when they can see that you care, and you’re interested in them. You might be surprised by how many people – both introverts and extroverts – feel awkward when they’re networking, and that’s partly due to the pressure to sell or say the perfect thing. Putting a focus on connection instead helps the conversation to flow more naturally in the moment.

To give yourself more confidence, you should also pay attention to your body language. What’s your posture like? You can make small changes like standing up taller and remembering to smile at people as you approach them, and feel a real difference in how confident you feel.

How do you make small talk at a work event?

A few conversation starters you can use if you need to make small talk at a work event are:

• What was your first role in (industry)?
• What drew you to becoming a (their job role)?
• What’s your favourite part of your job?
• Do you have any advice for me as a (your job role)?

You can then ask follow up questions based on their responses to lead to more meaningful conversations. It often proves valuable to go outside of your normal community and speak to people you don’t usually work with, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. You’ll make more friends at work, but you’ll also open doors to a completely new set of people who could have opportunities or advice for you.